The past few weeks | Personal

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Yay, finally my new lay-out is up on the blog! I didn't create this template myself, but it took me a lot of time to edit the HTML (the original template looks way different than how this one looks now). Luckily it's aaalmost perfect now. I only need to fix the drop down menu and I need to add in my categories and a search balk somewhere. Oh well, I hope you guys like my new lay-out. Please, let me know in the comments! - keep on reading for the actual blog post - 


Right now I am in my second week of school. What makes this week exciting is the fact that my birthday is only three days away and I am really excited for the upcoming weekend. Friday I'll go out for dinner to celebrate my birthday, Saturday my sister will be participating some kids show which will be televised on national television. I am coming with her to support her along with my family and some of my sister's friends. Sunday I'll have a 'high tea' (afternoon tea?) with some friends to celebrate my birthday (again). So excited!

At the moment I am - also - really tired. Yesterday I had school from 08.15 AM to 5.15 PM and then I had to work until 09.00 PM. On Tuesdays my first class starts 01.00 PM, but I couldn't sleep longer than usual, because the maid was coming, so I went to the gym instead. I am really beginning to enjoy going to the gym. At first I didn't like it and I never went, but I've come to know that working out really helps relieving stress and it sort of 'numbs' your thoughts.

Which brings me to the next topic: stress and negative thoughts. I must admit I wasn't so excited for this school year as I was last year. The week before school started I was feeling a little sad and anxious. I had some talks with my father and his wife about it, cut some people from my life,  promised myself to invest in other, more important people instead and did my best to feel happy again before school started. I didn't really succeed. Although Monday was okay (the new school building looks a-ma-zing, I am motivated to give my best this year and I met some new people who are really nice), I still felt sad when I came home after school. For a few hours I was even scared I would fall back into my old 'unhappy' pattern, for some reason. A lot has happened the past few weeks and I've been blocking all the feelings I had, but I believe they all sort of came out on Monday evening. I've become familiar with a certain feeling in my stomach which comes up when I feel really stressed, unhappy or anxious about something (also subconsciously, I believe) and I honestly fear that feeling, because it makes me feel depressed as hell. Maybe it is that some people get a headache when they are stressed/sad/anxious, etc. and others get... back pain, for example. And I get this sickening feeling in my stomach. Luckily it only lasted one night and now I feel happy again.

Alrighty. I guess this was it. I just wanted to vent a little again. I promise to put more articles on here that'll be more interesting, haha. For now I wish you a good night/good morning/good day. Thank you for reading.

XOXO.

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