RECAP: my first year of... college?

Monday, June 15, 2015

First things first, I have no idea what my type of school is called in other countries (talking about middle school, high school, college, etc.). In The Netherlands it is called 'MBO' level 4(+, as my journalism teacher once said!), literally translated: "middle-level applied education", some type of vocational training(?) you can do after you have graduated on 'vmbo' level ("preparatory middle-level applied education"). You might already understand that the Dutch school system is completely different from the English, American or any other school system and so it is hard to explain what sort of school I go to. Anyway, I'm learning about something specific (which is editorial assistance), plus I have finished high school last year and therefore I will just say I am going to college since this year. And this first year of college has almost, almost come to an end. It's crazy how time flies by... when your having fun?

The street I walk through to get from the central train station to my school. Since this school year I am really in love with Rotterdam (and to all those foreign people who are dying to visit Amsterdam: Rotterdam is worth a visit too! (and don't worry, Rotterdam also has coffee shops ;)) 

Because yes, I have to admit, this school year has been a 100 times better and more fun than any other school year I have had so far (apart from elementary school, because those eight years were eight years from heaven compared to high school and also college), but I definitely feel like I could've done some things way better than I actually did. I feel like I could've (or should've) made more friends, could've talked way more, opened up myself more and even when it comes to working out assignments, I often took the easy road. Not that my assignments 'suffered' from it, because I haven't got any bad marks so far in this whole year, but I definitely could've done better. I should have pushed myself a little more at some times.

At the intake of my school I told my journalism teacher that I like challenging myself and I did not lie. I like pushing myself to do things I rather not do, because I know what it does for me. It boosts my self-esteem and makes me realise I can actually do anything I want to, as long as I keep trying and don't give up. ''The magic is in the doing,'' is something my dad always tells me and he is definitely right, but always trying, pushing yourself, facing your fears and overcoming them, can exhaust you. Especially towards the end of the year I felt like I ''couldn't do it anymore'' (I know that sounds very dramatic, but I don't know how else to describe it). I definitely began to feel like I needed a break. Luckily I'm now only two weeks away from it. YAY.

This school year has been less stressful and challenging than I thought it would be (this is a contradiction to what I said before, but  the overall year wasn't so super challenging and I just feel like I should have challenged myself more on a personal level). I sometimes event felt like I am capable of studying on a higher level of education (and considering the fact I have done three years of 'havo', that might even be true (if you're not from Holland and don't know what I'm talking about, please read this)). I don't have any bad marks (apart from one bad mark for sports, but honestly, who cares about sports?) and I am satisfied with the things and assignments I have done, created and worked out. My favorite subjects were web design (thanks to this subject I have found out I really like web design!), photography and journalism. I have had some moments of stress and even a very few moments of total despair, but now that the year is coming to an end, I'm pretty relaxed. Although, I still have some final assignments to work on, one presentation to give and some other assignments to do, but it's okay, I can manage it.

This school year on a new school and everything, also meant I would meet some new (and awesome) people and at the beginning of the year I was super excited to meet my new classmates, make new friends and start a new chapter. Unfortunately I could've done a way better job when it comes to being social, opening up and being myself. I still have my walls build up so freaking high and I know people don't put so much effort anymore in breaking them down. I also know I can't blame anyone apart from myself for that and so it's still something for me to work on. Of course I have met some people who I find super awesome and with whom I'd like to be friends and of course (because I'm not a weirdo, I'm only super... introverted?) I have made some actual friends and I'm happy with that. Despite that, I really hope I'll be more relaxed around my classmates next year and will be able to break those stupid walls down myself. I know I have to do that or else I'll become very, very unhappy, because it's already making me feel a little down at some times.

So, I am not so super good at making new friends, but I absolutely do like my classmates and I appreciate them for being so nice to me and each other. I find it hard to believe that literally no one has asked me one single time about my voice - by the way, if you're reading this as one of my classmates and wondering about it, it's toootally okay to ask me about my voice. I don't mind it and I will be glad to explain to you what's 'wrong' with it. Chances are I will open up to you more as well after asking me :) - and I found it even harder to believe that no single person in my class has said something mean about it, made a nasty comment about it or bullied me because of it. It feels so extremely good to not feel like a possible victim of bullying anymore. I can't even describe the feeling. Now, I believe bullying isn't really a 'thing' anymore after high school. People seem to rather go their own way, they seem to rather want to accept other people than to make fun of them and it seems like people don't feel the need anymore to make sure they seem to stand above other classmates. Everyone is equal (in this class) and I really like that. Of course I know that people still get bullied, even in work environments, but I am really, really glad nobody is being bullied in my class.

All in all, I have had a great first year in college. I could have done a better job with some things, but I have two more years ahead of me to challenge myself on that. I know I will grow more in who I am as a person, my self-esteem will grow as well and I will write and create great pieces of work and become an awesome writer/journalist/(web) designer or whatever I want to be after this ''vocational training'' (it sounds way better and more serious in Dutch, haha) slash study. It's five more days of school (the rest of the days I am having extern workshops or am I just free from school) and then I'll be free like a bird. The weather has been pretty nice these past weeks and I'm so looking forward to this summer break. It's three more weeks until I'm heading off to Turkey for a few weeks and I can't wait for that! Anyway, I will tell you more about my summer plans in another blogpost! Thank you a lot for reading!  xoxo

Q: how has the past year been for you and how many days of school do you have left?

By the way, if you notice any mistakes in my English writing, please let me know in the comments. English is not my native language and I'd like to improve it. :) 

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